Not having to choose

I quickly spotted Tyler at the meeting that night. He was talking with someone else in another part of the room. I had been chatting with a girl who had gone to the same college as me.

I mentioned to her, “So there’s this guy I met at one of these meetings, and we’ve been on a few dates. He’s here tonight, and I don’t know how much I should talk to him. I mean, it’s just been a few dates.” She didn’t have any advice for me. I stood with her and her group of friends (including Whitney from Fairytale Beginning) who had also gone to my college. We grabbed our free drinks from the bar and stood in a circle chatting, while I watched Tyler out of the corner of my eye. Then, when I wasn’t looking, he came up behind me.

We hugged hello, and he said, “Oh my gosh, I couldn’t get away from that lady! I had to make something up to get away.” I laughed, and then went off with him. We sipped our free drinks and walked around chatting until the speaker came on. I suddenly realized we matched. We were wearing black peacoats, dark green sweaters, blue jeans, and black shoes.  How dorky, and yet so cute. A professional photographer was there to take photos of everyone.

While the speaker was presenting, I also noticed we both have brown hair and blue eyes. I loved it. Clare and I joke that people with brown hair and blue eyes are superior to others, so I immediately texted her to let her know. Tyler and I rubbed our arms against each other a few times and he would wink at me. This felt like another reminder of high school dating.

After the speaker had finished and the meeting was wrapping up, he asked if I wanted to grab dinner somewhere close by. I agreed, and we ended up at Hooter’s, the only place open within walking distance. We told funny stories from our high school and college years of dating gone wrong and parties. He told me we needed to plan a date soon. Afterward he walked me back to my car, kissed me, and said, “Bye, sweetheart.”

I called Chris on the drive home and we talked about our upcoming date for the next night. I invited him to stay the night after the date.

I emailed Sophie at work the next day and told her I was starting to understand how she feels about her new boyfriend. They had met in November and quickly fell in love. I wrote, “I understood how you felt about him before, but now that I’ve been around Chris having all these feelings, I REALLY understand how you feel.” I wasn’t having those feelings with Tyler. I just enjoyed spending time with him, and he made me laugh. I liked that he worked in my same career field because it was fun to be able to chat about it with him. I told Sophie I liked how both of the guys are close with their families, and how I could act as if I was in high school again with both of them.

I wrote to her, “This is all a lot of fun. I don’t mind the not having to choose because I know both of them may be moving this year. So there’s no point in making a decision. I would choose Chris, of course, if I had to choose. But I may as well have fun with Tyler. He’s great to be around, and he’s most likely to stick around here, or at least be in Texas.”

Chris felt like what I wanted out of a partner though. I wanted to spend lots and lots of time with him because it felt so good. I tried telling myself I would enjoy my time with him even more if I wasn’t with him all the time. I wanted to do everything with him though, any activity possible. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) He had said to me that he was excited because everything we do together is a new experience.

I was starting to look at his photos on Facebook, and think to myself, “Awww, that’s my love,” although we hadn’t said that to each other. I wanted to take photos with him.

Chris and I emailed that day as well and finally decided on our date: a play at The Pocket Sandwich Theater in Dallas. It was his idea, and I loved it. I loved that he wanted to go out and do new things. I couldn’t wait to see him, hug him, and kiss him.

I told him, “I’ve always wanted to go to plays but no one has ever wanted to go. You kick ass.”

I showed photos of Chris to two of my female coworkers, and they agreed that he was adorable.

After work I immediately headed home to shower and get ready for the date. I met Chris at his house and we drove together to the theater. We decided to have dinner beforehand at a Mexican restaurant within walking distance. We drank margaritas with our dinner and chatted about his move. I was already wishing he would stay. He talked about his college plans up there. I started thinking to myself that maybe I could move to Seattle. After all, my company has an office there. He would first be moving to a town that was 90 minutes north of Seattle to live with his friends already up there and complete his basics at a community college. After the basics, he wanted to get into a genetics program at the University of Washington in Seattle. I couldn’t believe I was already imagining ways to move up there and be with him. That seemed crazy.

We walked back to the theater holding hands, as I dreamed of being in Washington with him. When we got into the theater, they gave us a container of popcorn and led us to a booth. This theater gives popcorn to you for either eating or throwing at the actors. After ordering a pitcher of sangria, we started pelting each other with the popcorn, and ended up taking our first photo together.

The play was hilarious. We cracked up all the way through. During intermission, we commenced again with our popcorn war and he spilled sangria on his crotch. I was dying laughing, and enjoying the hell out of this evening. It was an amazing date.

High school again

Just a warning: this one gets a little TMI sexually.

I went to Chris’s house after he got off work at 7:30 p.m. and immediately met his dad, stepmom, stepbrother, and stepsister. He was wearing sweatpants, and his stepmom immediately started teasing him for not dressing up for me: “You shouldn’t be greeting her in pajama pants!” The whole family was very friendly. His bedroom was a huge room at the back of the house, more of a playroom. You open the door, climb several steps, and it's a giant room filled with a couch, bed, huge desk, and huge entertainment center. It was a little messy, but I supposed that was ok. His king size bed was super comfy.

We looked at funny stuff online, listened to music, and watched a few TV shows. He actually watched Hoarders with me. Clare and I have a thing for that show. 

After Hoarders, we messed around in his bed but had to be quiet. I felt like I was in high school again, and enjoyed it. But later, when I went to the restroom outside his room, I realized I couldn't hear his music from out there. So hopefully that meant no one would have heard anything anyway. This night also included my first big orgasm with him! I learned that he gets turned on by having his neck kissed, and I soon had him shaking a bit. I also kept running my fingers through his wild, curly hair. I felt I wanted to get to know him completely, physically and mentally.

He told he occasionally has back spasms that will throw him off for a couple of weeks. He was currently in an off week, and promised ‘it's on’ sexually once he gets back to normal. The sex was already great, so I wondered how much better it would get once he got back to normal. After the sex and the big orgasm, we cuddled and acted silly. His bright blue eyes were beautiful. They killed me. We did the goofy kisses, pecking a lot at once, pulling away, etc. We stared into each other's eyes trying not to blink. We tickled each other. It was absolutely wonderful. And yes, it was also absolutely cheesy. But I loved every second of it.

Before I left at 11 p.m., we said something along the lines of "I really like you, unfortunately," to each other, to which he added, "But it's so fun." I think he definitely didn't plan to fall for someone, just to have some fun while still living here. He walked me to my car and I said, "I know this is nerdy, but I'm going to miss you." (We planned to see each other on Friday night.) He laughed and said, "Everything good in moderation."

I got home and he texted me to say he had another great night. I told him about the stomach pain I was having - I had stomach pain the past two nights, and yesterday morning, all consequently after sex. It felt like I had pulled a muscle in my abs, though it went away after awhile. He said, "Its cause I hit your ovaries. Sorry about that." I said, "Wow," out loud and cracked up. I had never experienced that before! He texted me later to say he was hurting as well. He also texted me while I was asleep: "I do not want you to underestimate how amazing the last two nights have been with you. You are by far the most sexually attractive woman I have been with. It is almost like an amazing dream. This morning I got to see your silhouette against the window. Seriously felt like I was watching a movie with a stunningly beautiful woman, naked. Holy shit."

The next day I told Sophie all of this, and added, “I love these feelings. It feels so good. I love that he and I have that connection, plus we have a lot in common. I feel like there is the possibility to have fairytale love, plus not have to give up anything I want in life. Hopefully!”

About Chris’s comments to me, she said, “I don’t think he’s going anywhere any time soon.”

It was freezing outside that day, and I kept thinking I would love to curl up in bed with Chris. I liked how he was just a bit taller than me, so I could curl up into him very easily. The previous men I had dated had been right around my height. I also kept grinning to myself throughout the day and thinking about how I couldn’t wait to smooch him again. I texted my email address to him and suggested we could email during the work day since it’s easier than texting, plus we could share links and photos. He quickly emailed with suggestions for the Friday night date – a wine tasting, a burlesque festival, a play, or a spa. I was thrilled that he actually wanted to do fun things that weren’t the norm.

I planned to go to my marketing professionals’ club monthly meeting that night, where I had first met Tyler. I felt excited about seeing him again. He’s very talkative, and I was hoping he would help me to meet more people in the club. He and I had talked on the phone the day before, and he said his puppy licked the phone and was thus telling me hi. Of course I thought that was cute. He had not yet received his offer letter for the job he was planning to move for, and was getting a little anxious. I wasn’t sure how things were going with him and me since he didn’t seem to want to communicate with me or hang out with me as much as Chris did. With Chris, it felt obvious that he really liked me. It was also so much easier to talk with Chris. It felt very comfortable and natural. I wondered how much I should even talk to Tyler that night since it was a career-oriented event.

I felt like I was falling hard and fast for Chris, but I also felt cautious because of my past dating and relationship casualties, so I was leaving myself open to seeing how things went with Tyler.

Only two and a half weeks

I imagined what it would be like if Chris and I ended up together, he moved to Washington, and I flew out to see him. While I was sitting in LAX, I listened to a girl talking on the phone about how she'd just spent a week with this guy and now she was going back home to Tucson, AZ. She said the week was great; things were great with him, that he would play with her hair, and that his friends said she should just move to L.A. She said, "I really like him but my job is in Tucson." That would definitely be rough.

Sophie picked me up from the airport that night. Chris and I had decided to wait until the next night to see each other since it was late and we both had to work in the morning.

The next day, my ex’s mom, along with a couple of his relatives, was coming by my apartment to pick up his stuff. He had left all his furniture behind and never came back to get it. I had been forced to mail a certified letter to him requesting that he pick up his things. I was glad his family was coming by and not him, at least. My stomach was churning over it though. I was worried they would be taking one of my cats with them, the one that was supposedly his cat.

While I sat at work waiting to hear from his mom that they were close by, Chris sent me a video of the town where he had lived in Washington. It looked very cool and laidback and it led me into daydreaming of living in other cities.

The ex’s mom called and I headed to my apartment to unlock the door for them.  Luckily, it wasn’t so bad. It was a little awkward, but I was at least able to keep my cat. His mom also let me keep the kitchen table she had bought for us the year before. She told me he got a job but didn’t say what it was. I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to show a lot of interest. When she told me about the job, I accidentally said, “Wow, I’m shocked.” His cousin started laughing and I said, “Sorry.” She said it was ok and that she’s happy he has a job. After they left, I looked around my apartment and felt ready to rearrange.

Later that day Chris asked me for a date on Friday night. I happily agreed, and told Sophie, “He’s awesome. I’m so happy.” She asked, “So are you really feeling things for Chris now? When do I get to meet him?”

I told her, “Yes, I’m really feeling things for him. But he won’t be ready to settle down for awhile and he wants to move back to Washington. So…I guess we will just be hanging out and seeing what happens. I think he and I will definitely have a lot of fun together at least.” 

She joked, “Maybe you will change his mind and he won’t want to move back.”

Chris came over that night after work and kept me up late. Our work schedules differed, so he was always up later than I. We talked well into the night about our past and our exes. We both said we felt stupid for dating our exes for so long. It felt embarrassing to admit I had dated someone like my ex. But I suppose we all screw up. We talked about why the relationships failed and how they changed us as far as what we now need and want out of a relationship. I felt like I wanted to know all about Chris.

I noticed that that one of my cats was being more loving to me with Chris around. She tends to ignore me. I stood and held her like a baby, as he put his arm around me, looked at her, and commented on how cute and fluffy she is. I then rested my head on his chest. It was a sweet moment.

He stayed the night that night. We cuddled for awhile and my eyes started tearing up. I think it was just because it felt so nice lying with him. He said something about liking me too much. I felt the three little words bouncing around in my head, though I definitely didn’t want to say them. I just felt the potential for this to be something amazing.

Of course, there wasn’t just cuddling. There was also major making out, to the point that our lips became so dry we finally laughed and said we couldn’t kiss anymore.

It was so hard to get out of bed on Wednesday morning. When I said bye to him, there were many hugs, kisses, and cheek touches.

I emailed Sophie that day and told her, “This is going to sound corny, but I just feel something with him in the way we look at each other and how it feels to hold each other close.” I added, “I feel very happy about him. Being around him feels so good.” I also told her I had learned that Chris enjoys celebrating holidays and spending time with his family. My ex hadn’t enjoyed those things, so this made me very happy.

I knew Chris wanted to take things slowly and just see what happened. But I felt that in those moments where we were cuddled up together, it was obvious we have something special that shouldn’t be thrown away. It sounded like he felt he wasted a lot of time by being with his ex, and just wanted to explore and have fun now. He had moved back to Texas because she wanted to do so, and he hadn’t been happy being back here, though he admitted it was probably just because of her and because his two best friends were in Washington.

I told Sophie I couldn’t believe I was feeling all these things for him when I had only known him for two and a half weeks. She reassured me by saying, “Well, maybe all those feelings are supposed to be there. Sometimes people just know at a very short time together. Some guys I know have said they knew the day they met their wives that they would marry them. My grandparents were married after three months of being together and lasted over fifty years."

Chris sent me a text message that afternoon inviting me to his place after work.

Breathtaking views and texts

I was extremely happy when I saw Clare waiting for me at the airport. It was great to be able to spend a full week with her, and in a new place. Being able to travel anywhere new is exciting for me. I had once driven through L.A. with my dad, but we hadn’t stopped anywhere.

The trip was from that Tuesday night to Monday. Monday was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day so we had that day off.  Clare and I both took off work on Wednesday through Friday. I should say that she and I are both only children and we are very weird. Our Wednesday evening consisted of watching a pre-recorded episode of Biggest Loser and putting together a beautiful tray of snacks for watching it. And, of course, this included mimosas. 

Our week also consisted of me learning the importance of Trader Joe’s and their amazing dark chocolate Pretzel Slims. Since then I have asked her to ship me a few bags. They are that good. We also watched several episodes of Hoarders. She likes to call me a hoarder, though I must say my apartment is much better since she had helped me organize and throw stuff out in December.

We also explored Olvera Street, a Mexican area in L.A. There were tons of shops and booths along this street. I bought plenty of Day of the Dead style souvenirs, and then we rested at an amazing restaurant on the street. They had freshly made tortillas, and a few were cooked in mint. It sounds weird, but the flavor was great. We tried to explore Chinatown, which was right next to Olvera Street, but all we could see was the big Chinatown sign along with a bail bonds store, so we decided to get out of there.

I am also obsessed with bubble tea, so we kept an eye out for it while I was there. We tried several places, but I was not able to find any as good as a bubble tea place in Oklahoma. (Yes, bubble tea in Oklahoma sounds wrong, but it is so right.)

We also visited the Getty museum. The outside of the museum was better than the inside though. It sits atop a hill and has a gorgeous view of L.A. We took a ton of photos outside. That day we got stuck in traffic for two hours on the way home. But we just listened to some funny rap music and gossiped the whole way back.

Chris texted me throughout the week. On Wednesday, he sent this gem: “Leaving right after having sex the first time was a brilliant idea if your goal was to make me think about you frequently.” On Friday we were chatting about exercises and he said, “I can think of a lot of fun exercises to try with you. There’s this great workout for your thighs called reverse cowgirl. Really works up a sweat. Or maybe the butterfly. You stay on your back in the bed so I can stand and hold your legs apart. You know, for stretching.” I responded, “Hmm…sounds like a good stretch.” Of course I was telling Clare about these texts and even she was saying, “Damn.”

Clare and I hung out with her husband over the weekend. We drove down Mulholland Drive to see the huge houses and check out the views. It was breathtaking. Then we drove into Beverly Hills and browsed the shops on Rodeo Drive. She bought lipstick from Chanel while I gasped at the prices of the clothes. We found a cupcake shop on a side street, which was affordable enough for me. After our shopping adventures, we met up with another couple that also used to live in Texas. The five of us tried an Ethiopian restaurant. None of us had tried Ethiopian food before. We ordered a bottle of honey wine, which the restaurant makes. The bottle didn’t even have a label. To me it tasted like liquor with a little bit of honey mixed in. I couldn’t even finish my glass. Clare and I shared a huge vegetarian platter. It was delicious, but we agreed that it wasn’t necessarily food that we would crave, just something that was pretty good. Chris texted me that day with this: “I eagerly await your return. My lips miss your lips.”

On Sunday visited the beach in Malibu. We parked at a point and walked around taking photos along the beach. Again, this was another breathtaking view. I love the ocean.

Monday was spent getting pedicures and driving over to the beach by her apartment. You can literally see the ocean from her apartment, but it’s still a few blocks away. We stood by the cliff above the water and just listened to the waves. It was wonderful. We talked about great it would be to just sit here and read a book. On the way to the airport, she and her husband took me to their favorite Italian restaurant. Each person gets a personal pizza that is huge with a thin crust. The margherita pizza was yummy.

It was hard to say goodbye to Clare again. There was no planned trip for her to visit Texas so it was unknown when we would see each other again. I got a tear in my eye as we hugged bye. Then it was into the airport to wait and wait. I texted with Chris while waiting, and of course my flight was delayed. I told him, “I’m a little horny.” He wrote, “What a coincidence. May we can help each other with that issue. I happen to know some great remedies.” He also told me, “Hurry up and get back!” to which I responded, “I’m trying!”