That night I went to his house to stay the night since it was supposed to snow and ice again over night. We both worked from his house the next day. It was great being able to work side by side. He told me, “It seems like the better we get to know each other the more enjoyable our time together becomes.” We started calling each other the best boyfriend and best girlfriend ever. We also basically said I love you without saying it. He said he didn’t want to say it for a long time, but then was saying, “Could we know this soon?” We both admitted that we have had to stop ourselves from saying it. We had mouthed it to each other the night before. He also said to me, “I’m thinking that right now.” So we were playing the game of saying it without saying it.
We discussed the move some more. I basically told him that if things continue to go well while he’s there and for a few months after he leaves, then I will move up there. It excited me to no end. I just hoped my company would be ok with that.
We continued to be corny throughout the day. We laughed at ourselves, but kept it up. We agreed that what we have seems rare. He said, “You fill a hole in my heart that I didn’t know I had.” I started to think we should quit worrying about the future. I was beginning to accept that my life would be great no matter what. Even if we changed our minds about each other, at least we had some great times together. We said we should always be open with each other, even if it was negative, because that was the key to making a relationship work.
Our sex life was going well too, in that it was getting better every time and that we were able to be open with each other. It happened three times that day in his king size bed, and after the third time we both admitted that we were sore and wouldn’t be able to do it again even if we wanted to. Chris said he felt like he could be more open with me than anyone he had ever slept with, and I felt the same way. After sex, we would just lie in the bed holding each other and looking into each other’s eyes. Looking back on it, Chris says, “If saying I love you was hard to not say just being around you in general, not saying it after the mind blowing sex we had was next to impossible.”
On Thursday I spent some time thinking about my goals, and about if I ended up moving. I had started getting into the idea of not buying things I didn’t need. I decided I would rather save my money for something like moving. I wanted a new television because I had an old, crappy one, but I would rather save the money for moving. Plus, I wouldn’t want to haul a television across the country. These kinds of things were running through my mind that day.
Chris hinted that he was having something sent to my office for Valentine’s Day. I was extremely excited. My ex had not been particularly romantic, so it was very refreshing to have this again. I’ll admit it – I love being spoiled. After all, I am an only child.
On Friday we planned to go out with his sister and his cousin from Germany. I was feeling extremely tired at work that day and hoped I would be able to perk up after I left work. I don’t go out dancing or barhopping very often, so I wasn’t used to being up that late, especially after a full day at work. Chris went home for lunch and was able to meet his German cousin, Heike, at that time. He found she liked drinking and “dancing to electronic music,” so that was our plan for the evening. I can’t dance. I have no rhythm whatsoever. He said, “I know, I know, you can’t dance. No worries. We are all white. I just want to have my body against you so it will be fun even if we aren’t any good at dancing.” I couldn’t argue with that.
I told Clare I was going out dancing that night, and she filled up our instant message screen with a lot of “lololololol,” “LOL,” and “hahahahaha.” My lack of rhythm was well known. She suggested I take a few shots to get through it.