Friday, July 1, 2011

Mathematically correct

I woke up that Saturday morning safely in Chris’s arms. I planned to go out later that night with some friends I had interned with previously, but my day was open and I wanted to spend it with him.

We took the day slowly, just relaxing. We decided to take walk since it was 70 degrees outside, amazing for January. He led me to a creek a few blocks from his house where there was a tiny, but pretty, waterfall. We sat on the edge of a little cliff looking over the creek and waterfall. I started rolling my jeans up from the heat. We talked for nearly an hour in that spot, mainly about the move and our feelings for each other. It was relaxing, and I felt extremely happy.

He suggested we go back to his house and get in the hammock in his backyard. I loved that idea. Hammocks are extremely comfortable. We walked back, got in the hammock, and napped a little. When we woke up we gazed into each other’s eyes, and I wanted to say, “Let’s be boyfriend-girlfriend,” or, “I love you.” Both thoughts kept running through my mind.

We moved back into the house, to his bed, and were soon rolling around together. After we finished, we cuddled and did more of our eye-M’s where we said, “I love you,” with our eyes. Again, I wanted to say either, “Let’s be boyfriend-girlfriend,” or, “I love you.” I weighed the options in my head, and decided I would sound less crazy if I said boyfriend-girlfriend.

“So…would you like to be boyfriend-girlfriend?” I finally asked, gazing up into his eyes. He instantly smiled and said yes. I was floating on air the rest of the afternoon.

I met up with my friends that evening, and when they asked what was new, I said, “So I just got a boyfriend today…” It was hilarious. We hadn’t seen each other in awhile, and they were very pleased I wasn’t with my ex anymore.

Chris and I hung out the next day, and I learned he wasn’t quite ready to tell his friends and family that he was in a relationship. But I understood his reasoning. He didn’t want anyone to think or worry that he wouldn’t be moving now that he and I were together. He was also worried about them asking, “Why are you doing this when you’re going to be moving?” Of course, a few of his family members didn't want him to leave. His stepmom kept asking about me and saying he should invite me over for dinner, seemingly to encourage him to stick around Texas. We talked about all of this, and the solution was that he would slowly tell his friends and family more about me, mention hanging out with me, and put pictures of us together on Facebook, so they wouldn't be as freaked out when they found out we're in a relationship. When we first started talking about this I was afraid he wanted to take the label off our relationship. But he said he feels like it would be silly to not be in a relationship with me. I loved that statement.

I did feel a bit different around him now that we had that label. I felt like I could be a little more boring, and that he could go with me on my errands. But I also didn't want to do that to him. I wanted to keep things fun. I felt we would be ok though. We talked a lot about being open with each other and telling the other exactly what we want. We also talked more about our past. We talked about fights with our exes. I kept saying I want to avoid those arguments over small things. I also said I didn't want to take things out on him when I'm having a bad day. He said he will tell me if I'm taking it out on him, and just to let him know if I'm a bad mood so he can make me laugh. I loved his attitude toward that.

I called my dad on Monday morning on my way to work to tell him I was now in a relationship. He didn’t seem to care either way though. I also told one of my female coworkers that morning. She was happy for me. I was worried that some people might say to me, "Why are you doing this when he will be moving?" My dad kind of hinted at that. My coworker said, "So you could move there if there's an office there..." I said there are three. I also didn't want people at work to think I would be moving. It’s just not a good thing for people to know. She also added in that if things go well I could move, which is exactly how I feel.

Chris told me he would be moving by the end of June. It made me feel kind of sick to hear more of a date. I could already tell that it would be hell for me if things stayed this great with us. I told Sophie, “At least he will be here for my birthday. It's just going to be insane going from seeing him all the time and having the normal relationship of watching TV together, having dinner together, going out and about together to switching to the whole communicating only through phone and internet and not seeing him face to face.” There is Skype which he used all the time with his friends in Washington. I supposed we could have Skype dates. I kept telling myself I should worry about it when the time comes, not right now. It turned my stomach into knots to think about him leaving.

Sophie and I started talking about weddings that day and I started to imagine marrying Chris in a town square of a small town in Mexico with a small amount of my friends and family around. I had always liked that idea after studying abroad in Mexico five years ago. It was easy to imagine him in that scenario, especially since he loved Mexico as much as I did.

He emailed me that morning to say he had a great time last night. He wrote, “I enjoy being able to talk to you about my thoughts. Your responses are just so great that it makes me like you more every time I’m honest with you. There is almost never a second while I’m with you where I’m not hit with a feeling of enjoyment in some way.” I felt the same way. It was amazing how close I felt with him and how much fun I had with him.

He added, “Wrapping my arms around you feels like a lock being fit with a key. It’s a perfect mathematically correct hug I think. I want to get measurements and see if I can make a proof.”

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