Thursday, March 31, 2011

The best first time

I’ll admit it. I can’t remember much about once I got over to Jay’s apartment. I know we talked some and we were both a bit hungry so he decided to educate me on “the awesomeness of Whataburger taquitos.” And he was right. We went through the drive-thru and came back to his place with the taquitos. We sat around his big, clutter free dining table and ate. After I was done I petted his cat while we chatted about our careers. Soon he said he was tired and we separately changed into our pajamas before climbing into his bed. There was no talk of sex, though we both knew we wanted to do it. He was sleeping in only pajama pants, no shirt. I was in a t-shirt and shorts. I stopped to admire that tattoos on his chest, back and arms. He had told me about them but I had never seen them.

“Nice tats,” I told him.

We climbed into opposite sides of the bed, then laid there and talked for awhile. Not about sex. While we were talking we started moving closer to each other, slowly. I felt his arm against mine. It was soft.

Before I go any further I should say that I had started thinking that I wouldn’t enjoy sex anymore in my life, or at least never as much as I did in the past. High school sex was a trip, probably because of the adrenaline rush behind trying to not get caught. After high school sex had been a bit of a downer. My ex-fiancee would get upset because I hardly ever got in the mood. I just couldn’t. I found him very attractive but I just wasn’t feeling it. Now, the recent ex was able to get me in the mood. A couple days after meeting him he brought up the topic of sexual things and immediately caught my interest. Surprisingly, he wasn’t one of those guys who wanted every day. Therefore, I always wanted to do it. The only thing I thought I would miss about him would be the sex. I’d had sex with Wes and it was…blah. Sorry to him, but we didn’t mesh well and he didn’t seem to know what he was doing.

So I wasn’t expecting much out of having sex with Jay but I was definitely interested in trying it out. Anyway, we were moving closer to each other as we talked. My skin was crawling in anticipation. Suddenly he was on top of me and kissing me. I responded immediately and went with it.

I was wrong. It was mind blowing. Afterward he went out to his back patio to cool off and just kept saying, “Wow. Wow. Wow.” I was laughing and sitting on the floor of his living room leaned against his chaise lounge. He came back in and I said, “You know, that was the best first time sex I’ve ever had.”

His eyes lit up. “That’s it!” he exclaimed. “That describes it perfectly.”

You all know what I mean. The first time with someone is usually awkward and something goes wrong. But not this time. We crawled back into bed soon after this and cuddled up. He stroked my cheek and I traced his tattoos with my index finger. Before we knew it we were hooking up again.

We ended up at a count of five times in 48 hours. He was shocked by this amount.

I wrote in my journal on Sunday night when I got home: “Our status is kind of odd, though also refreshing. We are friends; we like each other as more than friends; we are having sex; and we’re open to being in a serious relationship. Neither of us really wants to be in a serious relationship because of previous failed relationships. So right now we’re just enjoying each other and seeing what happens.”

This was definitely something I’d never tried before. Surprisingly I was calm. I wrote: “I know that things could change. I know one of us could suddenly stop liking the other. These things happen without warning and it’s not always someone’s fault. Things just feel great with him. I guess I should quit worrying about nothing and enjoy our relationship for what it is. Maybe we will end up together. Maybe not. But I definitely think he and I can have some fun together in the meantime.”

The next day I was asked on a first date.

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