Monday, April 18, 2011

First impression

A post from Chris:

In August 2010 my relationship with my partner of six years ended. We had met when we were 18 and 19, and got married in 2008 at a courthouse so that I could put her on my health care. The break up was long in coming and wasn’t particularly hard. We didn’t have many assets, and no children, so the divorce was smooth and easy. I was an unhappy person. My self esteem was shot and I had forgotten how to be alone. Time heals all wounds though and after a few months I had begun working out and eating properly, spending time with friends and family, and was ready to do something I have never done: date.

I have had girlfriends but never had “dated” around before. I spent a month or so attempting to find a girl that interested me through my personal friends and at work. That search turned out to be in vain as no one was up to par for me. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, just a fun person to spend time with and hopefully be romantically involved with. A friend mentioned OkCupid to me; I had done some research and saw the Penn and Teller BS! episode about online dating.  I felt pretty comfortable getting on the site and had no idea what to expect.  After only a couple weeks I had gone on a few dates, none of which resulted in meeting someone I was interested in, either they were not attractive enough or the conversations we had did not make me want to follow up with them. Once I had some experience with how it all worked I began reaching out to girls who interested me and were at a “higher level” than my previous dates. By higher level I mean that they had a degree, were extremely attractive or had something very special written in their profile.

This is how I happened across redribbon. 

I sent her a message to initiate contact that was pretty generic.  I mentioned how some of the things she required of a partner, I had. She responded letting me know she thinks I am cute and asks where I work.  We get to know each other via these messages and eventually I ask to meet. I was really excited about this particular date because from her messages she seemed really smart and interesting, and she looked exactly my type from her photos. We met up at an Asian restaurant for lunch. She was much better in person. At one point I had to get up and go to the restroom to verify that I was looking up to par because I wanted this date to count. She was charming, and so attractive I really couldn’t maintain eye contact for very long. As we finished lunch I wasn’t ready to end our date yet, so I asked if she had more time or other plans. Luckily she was free so we decided to go bowling. We found out at lunch that we both have a love of tea and she recommended we go to her favorite place nearby for iced tea. It turned out that, just like me, she takes her iced tea unsweetened.

I told myself from the beginning of my adventures into the dating world that I would only be 100% honest at all times. I’m a grown man now and realize that in order to be happy I just need to be myself and be happy. After bowling I took her back to her car. It was our first meeting but I knew I wanted to see her again right away. To be honest I was so caught up in my thoughts at the time I’m not remembering if we hugged or kissed that day. I won’t say that I was immediately in love because I had been really wary after my divorce with my feelings. I do know that I immediately wanted to get her clothes off and see what was hiding beneath. I was going to find out soon enough. I had several other dates still scheduled at this time so my mind was left open to other possibilities. Needless to say though, it was a great first impression.

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